


Closure

by gumboy



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4945354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumboy/pseuds/gumboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My "Lost" episode of Angel. I always felt that the whole Anya/Xander relationship was never wrapped well at the end of BTVS. This is my take on it. Script format. Ignoring all comic canon.</p><p>Previously posted on slayerfanfic and I Need a Parrot</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closure

INT. SHOOTING RANGE - WOLFRAM & HART

GUNN is leaning back against the wall as a TECHIE gives a demonstration of some of the new armaments. Along the wall are four stuffed dummies that are made to resemble vampires. The Techie is holding something that looks like a cross between a single-barreled elephant gun and a pump action shotgun.

TECHIE  
What I have here is a prototype THX-1138 Pump Action SVDK. Your new armament against vampires. 60% more effective than your average means of destroying a vampire. Instead of firing your standard shell, this shoots the cartridge into the neer-do-well's chest. Upon impact the shell explodes sending compressed redwood pellets into and through the vampire's heart, effectively blowing the target into onion soup mix.

GUNN  
Hmm. May I?

The Techie visibly hesitates.

TECHIE  
We're still going through the testing phase. We still have some R&D to do.

Gunn takes the prototype out of the Techie's hand.

GUNN  
Well, let's see what some C&G can do.  
GUNN goes through a rapid-fire sequence, leaving nice clean holes in all four of the vampire dummies' chests. Nothing else appears to happen. Gunn is unimpressed.

GUNN (CONT'D)  
Is that it?

TECHIE  
Well, there are a couple of bugs to work out.

Suddenly all four dummies explode in sequence, blowing the top half off of their bodies. GUNN and the Techie dive for cover. As the smoke clears Gunn has a big grin on his face.

GUNN  
How soon can I have one?

SFX: Chirping noise

Gunn holds up his coat cuff to his mouth.

GUNN (CONT'D)  
Gunn here.

FEMALE VOICE  
(Filtered)  
Mr. Gunn? We have a young woman here at the front desk who is demanding to speak to "the vampire". She's making quite a scene and security seems to be having a difficult time removing her.

GUNN  
I'm on my way.

CUT TO:  
INT - WOLFRAM AND HART - ANGEL'S OFFICE.

FRED, WES, SPIKE and ANGEL are going through some of the new gizmos available to them from the lab.

FRED  
This tool will revolutionize the way we investigate ethereal matters.

WES holds up what appears to be a "Magic Eight Ball".

WES  
You must be joking. This actually works?

FRED  
It's a combination voice interactive probability matrix software combined with an uplink to an actual spiritual guidance.. uh... spirit.

WES  
Assuming the spiritual source is reliable, this could be an effective tool.

FRED  
Didn't I just say that?

ANGEL  
Wes likes to repeat the obvious. Let me try.  
(Shakes Eight Ball)  
Will Spike ever get tire of hanging around my office and being a general pain in the ass?  
Spike shoots Angel a glare.

SPIKE  
Aren't you a funny git?  
Angel turns the ball over.

ANGEL  
(Reading)  
Ask again later.

SPIKE  
Ask it if you're ever going to shag again. I'd be most worried about that.

ANGEL  
(Shakes the ball)  
All right. Will I ever lose my soul again?  
(Turns the ball over and reads)  
Ask again later.  
Everyone looks skeptically at Fred.

FRED  
Maybe the spirit's taking a coffee break.

F/X: Phone ring.

Angel turns on the speaker phone.

ANGEL  
Hello?

INT - WOLFRAM AND HART - MAIN ENTRANCE

GUNN is thrown hard against the wall. He jumps to his feet, draws his pistol and aims it at someone off screen. He talks into his cuff microphone. In the background we hear the sounds of hand to hand combat.

GUNN  
Angel, we have a situation here that needs your attention.

INT. - ANGEL'S OFFICE

ANGEL  
What is it?

GUNN  
(FILTERED) We've got some crazy blond chick down here demanding to see "the vampire."

ANGEL  
What?

GUNN  
(FILTERED) You heard me. She claims she's from Sunnydale and wants to see either "the one she's had sex with" or "the one who broods a lot".

ANGEL and SPIKE share a look.

SPIKE  
Race ya!

SPIKE runs out of the office.

ANGEL  
We're on our way.

INT. HALLWAY/ELEVATOR ENTRANCE  
Angel catches up to Spike in front of the elevator.

ANGEL  
(Smirking)  
Problem?

SPIKE  
Hard to go anywhere with the doors locked with a security code.

Angel smiles and presses a few of the elevator buttons and leans against the wall.

ANGEL  
Makes you miss floating through walls and floors?

SPIKE  
I never liked going through floors anyway. It's... Creepy.

ANGEL  
You drank blood for over a century, but floating through floors is creepy?

SPIKE  
You ever floated through a floor?

ANGEL  
No.

SPIKE  
Then you shouldn't talk.

The elevators door opens and both walk through with the door closing behind them.

INT. ELEVATOR.

SPIKE (CONT'D)  
So... Which one of us is the brooding one?

ANGEL  
I think that's rather obvious.

SPIKE  
Because you know I've done the nasty with her too, you know.

ANGEL  
I know.

SPIKE  
And afterwards I didn't turn into a world-class monster bent on destroying the world.

Angel sighs with frustration and presses the stop button. The elevator groans to a halt

SPIKE (CONT'D)  
What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?

ANGEL  
Look, I know how you feel. But the best thing for both of us is not to act like two jealous school boys brawling over a little girl.

SPIKE  
Like hell! Women love drama! 200 plus years and I thought you would have learned that.

ANGEL  
Yeah, but do you really think Buffy wants to see us beat the crap out of each other?

Spike backs down.

SPIKE  
I see your point.

ANGEL  
Truce?

SPIKE  
Truce.

Angel starts the elevator again.

SPIKE (CONT'D)  
But the minute she starts playing us off each other, I'm taking your pansy-arse down.

ANGEL  
You're welcome to try.

The elevators bings.

INT. MAIN LOBBY  
Spike and Angel strut into the lobby, preening themselves in anticipation.

ANGEL  
How’s my hair look?

SPIKE  
Spikey. How’s mine?

ANGEL  
Blonde.

As they turn the corner, they stop cold with a look of shock.

SPIKE  
Oh bloody hell.

INT. - FRONT DESK  
ANYA stands at the front desk, surrounded by either Gunn's security team, or unconscious bodies. Her hair is blond and the rest of her looks like she just dug herself out of a pile of rubble.

ANYA  
See? I told you they knew me.  
(points)  
I had sex with the blonde one.

Gunn looks at Angel and Spike in disbelief. Angel continues to gawk. Spike shrugs.

SPIKE  
Guess that makes you the brooding one.

INT. MAIN LOBBY  
The situation remains the same. Angel finally comes to grips with the situation and waves Gunn and his team off.

ANGEL  
Anya? What are you doing here?

Anya gives Angel a confused look.

ANGEL (CONT'D)  
Anya?

SPIKE  
The bloody question should be: how did you get here?

ANYA  
What are you talking about?

SPIKE  
Sweetheart, you’re supposed to be dead.

ANYA  
Do I look dead? I don’t see what the big deal is. I know for fact that you’re already dead and no one seems to pointing a gun at you.

ANGEL  
At least not today. Anya, can you tell us what happened to you?

ANYA  
Who’s Anya?

GUNN  
Great another amnesia victim. Can I just kill her now and save us some trouble?

ANGEL  
No.  
(To Anya)  
Anya. That’s your name.

ANYA  
Anya? Anya. Anya. I don’t like it. Can I call myself something else?

ANGEL  
Try it out for a while. Do you know who I am?

ANYA  
You’re the brooder.  
(points at Spike)  
He’s the guy I had sex with.  
(points at Gunn)  
He’s the guy with the gun that I beat up. What’s his name?

ANGEL  
That’s Gunn.

ANYA  
His name is Gunn? And he carries a gun? Is he a cowboy? If so, he’s not a very good one. He doesn’t even wear a hat.

GUNN  
I’m the meanest cowboy you’ll ever meet.

ANGEL  
He's in charge of our legal department. He won’t hurt you.

GUNN  
That’s what you think.

ANGEL  
Simmer down.  
(Turning to Anya)  
Do you remember how you got here?

ANYA  
(Frustrated)  
It’s… I… I don’t remember.

ANGEL  
It’s okay. Come with me, we have some doctors here who can take a look at you.

ANYA  
Who are you again?

ANGEL  
I’m Angel.

ANYA  
(laughs)  
I get it. You’re a vampire named Angel. That’s very ironic.

ANGEL  
Yes. It’s very funny.

Anya turns to Spike.

ANYA  
What’s your name?

SPIKE  
Spike.

ANYA  
(Suggestively)  
Oh! Are you named after your…  
Angel briskly moves Anya away from Spike and starts moving her down the hallway.

ANGEL  
Let’s get you checked out shall we?

ANYA  
(Over her shoulder to Spike)  
It’s very appropriate!  
(To Angel)  
You see, I know that because…

ANGEL  
You had sex with him. Yes. I caught that the first time.

Gunn holsters up his gun and signals the security team to start cleaning up.

GUNN  
So what’s her story?

SPIKE  
I hope you got time lad, because it’s a long one.

INT. LAB OBSERVATION ROOM  
Through a looking glass we can see Anya, who is much cleaner now and dressed in your standard hospital gown, being examined by one or two doctors. She seems to be very interested in what they are doing and very annoyed at the same time. The entire team is there watching her through the window.

WES  
Anya. Formerly Anyanka, a vengeance demon who was turned into a mortal, turned back into a vengeance demon and turned back into a mortal again.

SPIKE  
(To Gunn)  
That’s the short version.

 

WES  
Do you know anything about her death?

SPIKE  
Not really. I was too busy saving the world to notice.

GUNN  
Do you always have to bring that up?

SPIKE  
Hey. Seems to me you pooftas need to be reminded of it on a regular basis.

ANGEL  
Do you have anything else to add about her?

SPIKE  
Other than she chirps like a bluebird when she’s excited, I’ve got nothing else to say.

ANGEL  
Then why don’t you go talk to her and see if you can find out anything else?

SPIKE  
That’s a good idea. Considering I am the only one here who's had an intimate relationship with her. Didn’t even lose my soul.

ANGEL  
Leave already!

Spike leaves with a smirk

ANGEL (CONT'D)  
What else do we know?

FRED  
Not a lot.

Fred starts laying down photographs of Anya. One of them shows a MRI of her brain. One shows a scar on her back starting from the shoulder and going all the way down. Another shows scars on her hands and arms and the final one showing a puncture wound on the back of her neck near the base of her skull.

FRED (CONT'D)  
Her MRI shows a lot of trauma and she has a ton of scar tissue. There seems to have been some trauma to the head as well, which could be the reason for the memory loss.

GUNN  
That doesn’t explain how she mopped the floor with my team. I thought you said she was human.

WES  
From all accounts, including Wolfram and Hart’s, she was human when she died.

ANGEL  
Is Lorne around? Maybe she can sing a little song.

EVE  
He’s in Texas enjoying a Lyle Lovett concert. However we do have a former client that might be able to help us out.

ANGEL  
How trustworthy is this client?

EVE  
About as trustworthy as me.

The Fang Gang rolls their eyes as Eve exits.

GUNN  
I’ll go take a look at police reports between here and Sunnydale and see if I can find anything… Weird.

WES  
I’ll go to the stacks and see if I can find any information on Anyanka and see if there are any strange after-effects from becoming a mortal after being a demon after being mortal and… Oh never mind. I’ll just do research.

FRED  
There’s more test results to go over. I’ll let you know what I find out.

All get up to leave.

ANGEL  
Hold up. Fred, I need you to bring me something from your lab, and Gunn there’s one more lead I’d like you to follow up on as well.

INT. MEDICAL  
Angel enters as Spike and Anya continue to chat.

SPIKE  
Do you remember the big battle?

ANYA  
I remember some faces and some events. It's been very fuzzy. I remember being attacked by some very ugly people. Being buried under a pile of rubble and doing a lot of walking. And then somehow I found my way here. Ta-Dah! Oh and money! I really like money!

ANGEL  
How did you find us?

ANYA  
I’m not sure. I just kind of… Wandered around the city for a couple of weeks and found this demon bar. At first I thought the people there just had a bad skin problem, but then one of them started talking about Wolfram and Hart and how there are two vampires there and one thing let to another and… again… Ta-Dah!

Fred enters carrying a bundle.

FRED  
I got it.

ANGEL  
Thanks.  
(Angel takes the bundle)  
Now Anya, I want to test your memory and see your reaction to this object. It’s not very scientific, but I think it may help us figure out why you are… the way you are.

ANYA  
(shrugs)  
Okay.

ANGEL  
Tell me your feelings about this.

Angel opens up the bundle and pulls out a bunny rabbit. Anya wigs and starts screaming hysterically. She holds her arms out as if to defend herself and beams of energy crackle out, hitting Angel and throwing him against the wall.

Angel bounces off the wall and loses grip of the rabbit, which starts hopping around the room. Anya continues to scream and continues to shoot beams of energy out, always missing the rabbit, but destroying various objects in the room. Fred manages to hit the ground and crawl over to check out the unconscious Angel. Spike finally manages to get Anya's attention and calm her down.

SPIKE  
Take it easy girl. It’s all right.

ANYA  
Is it gone?

Spike looks around the smoking remains of the room.

SPIKE  
I think you got it.

Angel peels himself off of the floor with Fred’s help.

FRED  
What the hell kind of experiment was that?

ANGEL  
To see if that was Anya.

FRED  
Is it her?

ANGEL  
I'm not sure. She certainly has some aspects of her old self.

FRED  
You mean the energy blasts?

ANGEL  
(Stretching and wincing)  
No. She really hates rabbits.

FRED  
Well DUH.

ANYA  
I didn’t hurt you did I?

ANGEL  
I’ll be all right.

ANYA  
Of course. You’re a vampire. You’ll be back to your normal brooding self in no time.

ANGEL  
Do I really brood that much?

ANYA  
It's not so much the brooding I remember, as the scowling.

Anya imitates Angel's scowl. Spike and Fred are very amused.

ANGEL  
Oh.

ANYA  
Oh and I also remember you making that blonde chickie cry a lot. What was her name? Betty?

ANGEL  
Buffy.

ANYA  
Whatever. Yeah, well… you made her cry. A lot.

ANGEL  
Well... Every relationship has its problems.

ANYA  
Well, apparently you had a lot of problems. Because she cried. A lot.

SPIKE barely contains a giggle. Angel scowls, then realizes he's scowling and tries not to scowl.

ANGEL  
Huh. Right.  
(pats her on the shoulder)  
Get some rest, I'll check in with you later.

Angel exits... brooding. Fred leaves with him

ANYA  
(To Spike)  
How was that?

Spike holds up a twenty dollar bill.

SPIKE  
Bloody brilliant.

Anya happily accepts the bill and stuffs it in her robe.

INT. Observation Room  
Fred and Angel enter.

FRED  
I can’t believe you’d do that to a bunny.

ANGEL  
Fred, some food for thought. What do you think those bunnies are doing in your lab?

FRED  
(The realization hits her like a smack in the face)  
Ohmigod.

Fred rushes off.

EVE (OS)  
Angel.

Angel turns to see Eve and a woman dressed like an old extravagant movie star. She seems to be a cross between a demon Bette Davis and Greta Garbo. Ultra glamorous with a touch of evil.

EVE (CONT'D)  
That was an interesting experiment. Did she pass or fail?

ANGEL  
Both. I think. Who’s our guest?

EVE  
May I present Ms. Fatu Fofanau.

FATU  
(presenting her hand to be kissed)  
Dah-ling. A pleasure to meet you.

Angel looks suspiciously at the hand and gingerly shakes it with his thumb and forefinger. Fatu gives a grand stage laugh.

ANGEL  
How can I help you?

FATU  
No, dah-ling. It’s how I can help you.

ANGEL  
With what?

EVE  
Fatu and Anyanka share the same heritage.

ANGEL  
Really?

FATU  
I’m surprised you never heard of me.  
(Flourishing her arm)  
Fatu Fofanau… Vengeance demon to the stars!

EVE  
Fatu. Please.

Fatu deflates and lights up a cigarette. She is suddenly the vision of a typical Jewish grandmother. Who smokes.

FATU  
Fine. Anyanka or Anya or whatever you call her isn’t a vengeance demon.

ANGEL  
How do you know?

FATU  
I know because I am a vengeance demon. Did you miss that part?

ANGEL  
The flourishing arm movement distracted me.

FATU  
I’ve known Anyanka for years. We’ve worked together several times. That thing may look like her and talk like her, but she isn’t the demon I knew. Or at least not a Vengeance demon. We use the power of the wish as a righteous sword to punish and bring forth destruction. It’s the way we do things. The electric light parade in there wouldn’t have come from one of us.

ANGEL  
You don't have that kind of power?

FATU  
(Shakes her head no)  
Too flashy.

ANGEL  
So D’Hoffryn didn’t give her powers those powers? Or bring her back to life?

FATU  
Are you kidding? He’d be furious if he knew that she’s still alive.

EVE  
Would he know anything about what might have happened?

FATU  
I suppose. I’ll see if I can get an audience with him.  
Fatu throws her scarf over her shoulder, puts on her sunglasses and flourishes her arm again.

FATU (CONT'D)  
I shall return.  
Fatu winks out; teleporting to another time/space or perhaps to Tim Horton’s to get a large Café Mocha. Yum.

ANGEL  
A Hollywood vengeance demon?

EVE  
What do expect? Vengeance is a part of showbiz. Hollywood is a prime piece of real estate for that kind of assignment.

ANGEL  
Do I want to know why Wolfram and Hart represents her?

EVE  
Vengeance demons are nothing compared to a good entertainment lawyer.

ANGEL  
I’ll remember that.

INT THE LIBRARY  
WES is surrounded by several books. Fred bursts into the room holding a large cardboard box.

FRED  
You’ve got to help me hide these!

WES  
What is it?

FRED  
Bunnies! They were doing lab experiments on them!

WES  
Fred, as you are the head of the lab you could eliminate all animal testing.

Fred looks sheepishly down at the box of bunnies.

FRED  
Oh. Good point.

Fred puts the box o’ bunnies on the floor.

WES  
I’m glad you’re here though. They just brought up the final lab results on Anya.

Fred starts picking through the paperwork.

FRED  
Anything abnormal? Other than her ability to destroy an entire lab in thirty seconds?

WES  
Not really. Pulse, heart rate, blood work. Normal. Everything looks human.

FRED  
Any signs of the supernatural?

WES  
Other than the fact she died and was buried under a pile of rubble? No. Not really. I’ve researched her entire history and checked the history of some of the other "former" vengeance demons as well. Once they were killed off, they stayed dead.

FRED  
Are we sure she’s not a demon shape-shifter?

WES  
If she was, one of the magical alarms would trigger. I’m afraid I may be stumped. I’m not sure where else to look.

GUNN (O.S.)  
How about the newspaper or the police reports?

GUNN has entered the room carrying a relatively thick file. He tosses it on the table.

GUNN (CONT'D)  
This chick has been all over California. There’s a warrant out for her arrest for completely destroying a biker bar a couple of counties north of here. There are also reports of a woman laying waste to rabbit hutches just south of the city. Describe anyone we know?

FRED  
Aw! The poor bunnies!

GUNN  
That doesn’t even cover the file Wolfram and Hart had on her. She’s got a warped sense of creativity when it comes to wish fulfillment. I don’t know what you people think you’re doing. This chick is a security risk. We need to cut our losses short.

WES  
We can’t do that.

GUNN  
She’s a demon. What makes her different from any creature of darkness that we’ve taken down?

FRED  
Personally, I don’t think we can trust anyone who hates rabbits. It’s like she’s a demon version of Elmer Fudd.

GUNN  
I saw what she did to that lab. She can’t stay here and we can’t put her out on the street. We need to take care of this situation before it gets any worse.

WES  
This demon, if she is one, has helped save the world on numerous occasions. Before we take any action, we need to do further research.

GUNN  
The hell with that! We can't take this risk!

ANGEL (O.S.)  
That's not your call to make.

ANGEL steps in to the fray. Gunn gives him a withering stare.

GUNN  
What makes you so sure that we can trust her?

ANGEL  
I don't. But I won't let anything happen to her until we know better.

GUNN  
You're making a mistake on this one Angel.

ANGEL  
It's mine to make.

The Fang gang give him a stony stare as he walks away.

GUNN  
I hope he knows what he's doing.

CUT TO:

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART - ANGEL'S OFFICE. -- MOMENTS LATER

ANGEL  
What the hell am I doing?

INSERT - MAGIC EIGHT BALL  
It reads "Concentrate and Ask again"

ANGEL (CONT'D)  
What a piece of junk.

Angel drops the Eight ball on the desk and turns to his monitors and watches Anya sitting in her robe. Wes enters holding his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

ANGEL (CONT'D)  
Anything?

WES  
Just a migraine. I've been through about two thirds of the information we have on D'Hoffryn and his servants and we haven't found any information on former demons being resurrected.

Wes steps forward and looks at the monitors.

ANGEL  
Did you ever meet her?

WES  
A couple of times. She was strictly human then. And very odd.

ANGEL  
That I remember. She's helped save the world several times you know.

WES  
Yes, and as a demon, she's wreaked more death and destruction than you and Spike put together.

Angel gives Wes a dirty look.

WES (CONT'D)  
Well it's true. And you can't take that out of the equation.

ANGEL  
Okay. So where do we go from here?

WES  
I don't know. I need a spare set of eyes to look this over.

VOICE (O.S.)  
Well I may not have a full set of peepers, but I'd be willing to take a look.

Angel and Wes turn to see...

XANDER standing at door of Angel's office, eye patch and all.

XANDER  
Just keep in mind, it'll be a little one sided.

INT. INT - WOLFRAM AND HART - ANGEL'S OFFICE. -- MOMENTS LATER

ANGEL  
Xander.

XANDER  
Well, if it isn't my two favorite people. Captain Hair Gel and Mr. Belvedere with a stick up his ass.

Angel grimaces. Wes stiffens.

WES  
I take umbrage with that remark.

XANDER  
Thanks for proving my point.

ANGEL  
I appreciate you coming down on such short notice.

XANDER  
Notice?! I was in the middle of a client meeting when your goon squad kicked the door down and dragged me halfway across the state!

ANGEL  
(Sighs)  
Sorry. I told Gunn I needed you here as soon as possible. We need your help.

XANDER  
Look, I doubt you've heard, but I'm out of the biz. The hellmouth has closed for business! I sold all my weapons in one very spooky yard sale and I closed up shop! I build things now. Houses. Office Buildings. Strip Malls. No demons. No vampires. No apocalyptic doomsdays. There's nothing you can say or do that will drag me back into this supernatural hell.

WES  
It's Anya.

XANDER  
Wha-huh?

ANGEL  
At least we think it's Anya. Take a look.

Xander steps forward to look at the monitor.

XANDER  
(Softly)  
Holy Mary keep on burnin'.

WES  
We've done some tests. Both scientific and uh..  
(glancing at Angel)  
Not so scientific. So far we don't have any explanations on why she is here.

SPIKE enters the office and approaches Xander from behind, out of his line of sight.

XANDER  
No. I was there. Sunnydale is gone. That place is just a sinkhole in the middle of a desert. Even if she wasn't split in half, there's no way she could dig herself out of that pile of rubble.

SPIKE  
He's right you know. I'm not so sure I left a few kibbles and bits behind myself.

Xander turns, sees Spike and screams like a little girl.

SPIKE (CONT'D)  
Lovely to see you too. You look like you've seen a ghost. Oh! That's right I was. Boo.

XANDER  
Sweet merciful Jesus on a pogo stick! Can't anyone I know just stay dead?!

ANGEL  
Technically, Spike and I are still dead.

XANDER  
Technically, you guys really creep me out. Thanks for the very horrible Scooby Dooby reunion. I'm leaving. I'll find my own way out.

ANGEL  
Xander...

SPIKE  
Oh let the poofta leave. He's sucking all the fun out of the room and he's just doing what he does best.

XANDER  
Excuse me?

SPIKE  
Walking out. On her.  
(To Angel and Wes)  
He left her at the altar you know.

XANDER  
There were extenuating circumstances.

SPIKE  
Yeah, you got the feet of ice and slipped away before she could do the big thaw.

 

XANDER  
That's not the way it happened!

SPIKE  
Look you stupid git! That could very well be the love of your life down there! And like the bloody idiot you are, you're too scared to even admit it! Now here you are with a second chance and all you can do is run. If that's all you are going to do about the situation then bugger off. We don't need you. She on the other hand, just might.

Xander nods his head.

SPIKE (CONT'D)  
All right then. Let's go down and see if seeing you sparks anything in that discombobbled noggin of hers.

XANDER  
Discom-what?

WES  
Amnesia. She lost a lot of her memory.

XANDER  
Of course. Why shouldn't she?

SPIKE  
She remembers having a shag with me if that makes you feel any better.

XANDER  
Very much, thank you.

ANGEL  
I'd also recommend that she doesn't actually see you.

XANDER  
Why not? Why bring me all the way down here if we're not going to see each other.

ANGEL  
Not only does she have amnesia, but she's dangerous. Until we get this whole thing figured out, I think it would be safer for you if you didn't see her face to face.

XANDER  
Fine. Whatever. Let's get this over with shall we?

INT. LAB OBSERVATION ROOM -- LATER  
ANYA sits in her hospital gown looking very bored. Xander watches her through the one way mirror glass. Wes and Fred stand beside him.

XANDER  
She is...  
(struggling for the right word)  
corpus christi, right?

WES  
I beg your pardon?

XANDER  
Can you can touch her?

WES  
Yes. She is corporeal, so she definitely isn't an apparition of The First. In fact from every bio-test we've done on her points to her being Anya, but her long term memory is practically non-existent. She has vague memories of people and events, but nothing factual. She also has exhibited some strange abilities that are neither human nor vengeance demon.

XANDER  
Like what?

FRED  
Let's just say that we're still picking up the pieces from the last experiment we tried. Were you there when she died?

XANDER  
No. I wasn't.

FRED  
So it's possible she could have survived?

XANDER  
I was told she was almost cut in half. That's not something you walk away from. Of course the guy who told me this isn't the most reliable source.

WES  
Demonic?

XANDER  
No, he's just more a dweeb than you and I put together.

WES  
Ah. I see.

XANDER  
The first time he told the story she died defending him. The fourth time, it was like the unabridged battle scenes from Beowulf.

WES  
You do know that I've changed a lot since I lost saw you.

XANDER  
Yeah, but you're still British right?

WES  
Quite.

XANDER  
Again, thanks for proving my point. Look, can I just talk to her? I can clear this whole thing up in five minutes.

FRED  
Does this solution require the use of a bunny?

XANDER  
(Wary)  
Maybe.

FRED  
Trust me. You don't want to do that.

XANDER  
Okay! Great! That was my ace in the hole. I got nothing.

WES  
Xander. You know her better than anyone. Maybe if you look over our research.

Xander looks over at the piles of documentation and books sitting on a table.

XANDER  
(sighs)  
This part, I haven't missed. Can't I just use this? I loved these things.

Xander picks up the magic eight ball and shakes it.

FRED  
Uh.. We've been having problems with that.

XANDER  
Will Anya and I get back together?  
(reading result)  
Very doubtful. Huh. Is this going to end in heartbreak?  
(reading result)  
Most definitely. Great.

WES  
Is that thing actually working?

FRED  
Ask it if she is really Anya.

XANDER  
Is this really Anya?  
(Reads reply)  
Reply hazy. Try Again.

FRED  
Try it again.

XANDER  
Reply hazy. Try Again.

WES  
Maybe the spirit doesn't know.

XANDER  
Do you know the answer to the previous question  
(Reads reply)  
No.

FRED  
At least we know it's not broken.

XANDER  
This thing actually works? It tells the truth?

WES  
As far as we know.

Wes picks up the picture of the wound on Anya's neck.

XANDER  
Is it dangerous for me to see Anya?  
(Reads reply)  
Signs point to Yes.

Wes heads toward the door with the picture in hand.

WES  
I'll have to agree with the eight ball on that one.

Wes exits.

XANDER  
Does he always do that?

FRED  
It's his Eureka moment. It's very dramatic. Didn't he do that back in Sunnydale?

XANDER  
No. Back then he just reeked.

FRED  
Oh.

Xander looks through the observation window at Anya who is playing with her hair.

FRED (CONT'D)  
You love her very much don't you?

INT. ENTRANCE TO LAB  
A tech punches in a code to make the door go open. Xander follows her every move.

INT. LAB OBSERVATION ROOM  
Xander watches through the window as the tech gives Anya something to drink.

XANDER  
Yes. I did.

FRED  
What are you going to do?

XANDER  
I don't know. I just wish I could see her.

Fred's pager goes off.

FRED  
It's safer if you don't. I think Wes found something. Do you want to join us?

XANDER  
No. I think I'll stay here and act like I'm on a cop show.

FRED  
Okay. I'll give you an update when I get back.

Fred leaves. Xander makes sure she's gone, locks the door to the Observation room and heads toward the lab entrance and immediately starts fiddling with the control panel.

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART - ANGEL'S OFFICE.  
Gunn and Angel are arguing again as Fred enters. Spike sits on the couch bored.

GUNN  
You're making a mistake!

ANGEL  
Until we know more, we are not eliminating her.

GUNN  
She put two of our employees in intensive care.

ANGEL  
So? They were probably evil anyway.

FRED  
Where's Wes?

SPIKE  
On his way. None too soon for my tastes either.

ANGEL  
I am not taking sides on this.

GUNN  
It's your responsibility to...

ANGEL  
I know what my responsibilities are!

Wes enters the office. No one notices

GUNN  
How do you know that's really her?

ANGEL  
It's instinctual. It's a creature of the dark kind of thing.

WES  
Angel.

ANGEL  
What?

WES  
That isn't Anya.

ANGEL  
She isn't.

WES  
Well she is, but she isn't.

ANGEL  
Thank you. That clarifies things.

WES  
It's the mark on the back of her neck. It's the entrance point left by a Hturrac Oiduts, it is kind of a demon spirit of retribution.

ANGEL  
So.. is this a kind of vengeance demon?

WES  
Not exactly. It accesses the body of a recently deceased human, absorbs his or her memories and personality, It then tracks down the person or persons that the demon feels has caused the person the most harm in life and kills them.

ANGEL  
(Oh crap!)  
The person responsible…?

WES  
While the memory absorption process isn't exact, the Hturrac are well known for becoming almost "one" with the victim. Taking on all the personality traits of the deceased. Then focusing all its rage on the one person who has caused the host body the most pain and suffering in life.

ANGEL  
Xander.

SPIKE  
Bravo for you Spanky, but I believe the rest of the Little Rascals were already a step ahead of you on that one.

GUNN  
Relax. Your buddy is in the observation room and won't be able to access the lab without…

FRED  
(Checking out the monitor)  
He's in.

GUNN  
Damn!

FRED  
What is he doing?

INSERT - Monitor Xander appears to be… dancing. Badly.

INT. - LAB  
Xander is finishing off the last verse of "I'll Never Tell" from Once More with Feeling.

XANDER  
(Singing)  
So thank god I'll never tell!  
I swear I'll never tell. My lips are sealed. I take the fifth! Nothin' to see! Move it along!  
I'll never… Tell!

Xander collapses into an office chair. Anya applauds enthusiastically.

XANDER (CONT'D)  
Did you like that?

ANYA  
That was wonderful! I'd call it more of a book number than a stand out hit, but wonderful nonetheless.

XANDER  
Did it bring anything back?

ANYA  
Vague... Very vague glimpses of...

XANDER  
Nothing.

ANYA  
(Perky)  
Not one bit. Besides, judging by the lyrics, we seemed to have a lot of problems in our relationship. Why was that?

XANDER  
Well we come from different worlds. You were a thousand year old demon...

ANYA  
And you were just some dweeb I met in high school. Interesting. So what happened to us?

XANDER  
Uh.. We lived together for a while. We were engaged.

ANYA  
(stern)  
Engaged?

XANDER  
(oops)  
Yeah.

ANYA  
You and I were getting married.

XANDER  
Almost got married.

ANYA  
(getting angrier)  
Almost?

XANDER  
We.. I.. uh..

ANYA  
You left me?!

XANDER  
At the proverbial altar.

ANYA  
It was because of someone I cursed!

XANDER  
There were extenuating circumstances.

ANYA  
Circumstances my ass! You left me!

XANDER  
Anya..

Anya's eyes begin to glow a dark red. The mark on the back of her neck begins to glow. She looks at Xander as though she is looking straight through him.

ANYA  
You left me to die!

XANDER  
No.

ANYA  
(guttural)  
This is all your fault! For that you must pay.

XANDER  
Anya, we worked through that. And now we have a second chance to... I don't know what, but second chances are good things.

VOICE (O.S.)  
My dear boy...

CUT TO:  
FULL SHOT: LAB

D'HOFFRYN stands at the entrance. FATU stands by his side.

D'HOFFRYN  
I do believe she was talking to me.

INT. : LAB -- MOMENTS LATER

FATU  
(Flourishing)  
Behold D'Hoffryn, Lord of Arashmaha, he who turns the air to blood...

D'HOFFRYN  
Fatu... Please. I believe everyone here knows who I am.

ANYA  
You are to blame for my death.

D'HOFFRYN  
My dear, the path you chose was your own. Only you are to blame for your fate.

ANYA  
Every step was guided by you.

XANDER  
Anya? What's going on?

D'HOFFRYN  
Can't you see? This isn't Anya, Anyanka or even the poor little girl that I rescued from a dreary existence eons ago.

ANGEL (O.S.)  
She's a demon.

Xander turns to Angel who happens to be carrying a very big sword.

ANGEL (CONT'D)  
Get out of the way Xander.

XANDER  
What are you doing?

ANGEL  
She's not Anya. She's a demon spirit sent to kill you.

XANDER  
Anya?

ANYA  
(Guttural)  
Stand aside mortal.

D'HOFFRYN  
Actually, I do believe she's after me.

ANGEL  
She blames you?

D'HOFFRYN  
It's actually more political than you think. These retribution spirits tend to trespass on vengeance demons territory more often than naught. And vice versa of course.

ANYA  
(Bellowing with a demon's guttural voice.)  
That ends tonight!

D'HOFFRYN  
(Sighs and shrugs.)  
Quite right. Let's get this over with shall we?

D'Hoffryn casually shoots bolts of energy from his hands. Xander grabs Anya and knocks her to the ground. Anya pushes Xander aside and returns fire, knocking D'Hoffryn against the wall. Fatu dives for cover. Angel stands confused.

ANGEL  
Who exactly do I want to win here?

Anya rushes towards D'Hoffryn, only to get blown back by one of D'Hoffryn's energy bolts.

D'HOFFRYN  
You're going to have to do better than that to defeat me.

ANYA  
(Still Guttural)  
Not a problem.

Anya "winks" out of existence and reappears in a splash of light right behind D'Hoffryn. She grabs his head which promptly begins to smoke. He screams in pain.

ANYA (CONT'D)  
Hurt's don't it?  
(A little like Anya)  
I always loved that joke.

FATU (O.S.)  
Oh, Anyanka!

Anya turns to see Fatu hoisting Xander into the air with one hand.

XANDER  
Little help here!

FATU  
Unless you want your favorite meat puppet ground into chuck, I suggest you stand down.

ANYA  
(without hesitation)  
Go ahead.

Fatu turns to Angel.

FATU  
Stop her if you want your friend to live.

ANYA  
Stay out of this Vampire!

XANDER  
Angel! Don't do it!

Angel hesitates.

SPIKE (O.S.)  
Excuse me.

Everyone turns to Spike who is holding the rabbit.

SPIKE (CONT'D)  
Did anyone lose a pet?

ANYA  
No!

Spike tosses the rabbit at Anya who zaps out of existence. The bunny lands safely on the floor. Angel snaps out of his momentary freeze and throws his sword at Fatu, neatly slicing her arm off. Xander drops to the ground, but still has to fight off the rest of Fatu's arm which is still animated. Angel clocks Fatu before she can get a grip (sorry, couldn't resist) and knocks her out.

Anya reappears and shoots an energy bolt at Spike who goes flying. D'Hoffryn recovers and starts shooting energy at Anya. Angel dives at him and knocks him aside, unfortunately sending his aim towards Xander.

ANYA (CONT'D)  
No!

Anya jumps in front of the blast, taking it full force.

XANDER  
(Throwing the hand away)  
Anya!

Angel clocks D'Hoffryn knocking him out.

Anya lies on the ground, the scary demon part appears to have disappeared.

ANYA  
Xander?

She's dying. Again. They both know it.

XANDER  
What happened?

ANYA  
I just couldn't...

XANDER  
Did you remember something?

ANYA  
No. Not really.

XANDER  
Anything?

ANYA  
(smiling)  
I'll never tell.

She dies. Quietly. Angel and Spike stand with their heads bowed.

INT. INT - WOLFRAM AND HART - ANGEL'S OFFICE. -- LATER  
Xander looks out Angel's window holding an icepack to his head. Fatu, D'Hoffryn, Eve, Spike and Angel are in the middle of an argument.

FATU  
How you can take sides with a mortal and a demon spirit against one of your longest standing clients is beyond me!

EVE  
I'm sure in the heat of the moment, that might have been what it looked like, but...

ANGEL  
No, that pretty much sums it up. I was going to take them down.

D'HOFFRYN  
Are you sure that's the stance you want to take with me Angelus?

SPIKE  
Why don't you blow it out your cake hole?  
Eve pushes Spike and Angel aside.

EVE  
D'Hoffryn, surely we can work these matters out.

FATU  
Never! The mighty D'Hoffryn would never...

EVE  
(Interrupting)  
There is a matter of a long standing bill due to us...

D'Hoffryn and Fatu quietly look at each other somewhat guiltily.

EVE (CONT'D)  
We could consider the bill expunged in the interest of continued service?

D'HOFFRYN  
Done. Oh and Angelus? I hope we don't meet each other anytime soon.

SPIKE  
Right back at 'cha, Hoffy.

D'HOFFRYN  
Then I bid you adieu.

D'Hoffryn and Fatu blink out.

EVE  
There. All settled.

SPIKE  
This place makes me sick.

ANGEL  
Then leave.

SPIKE  
I will. But I'd just like to remind you once again that if it wasn't for me...

ANGEL  
Yes. I know. You saved the day once again, oh-mighty-tosser-of-the-bunny.

SPIKE  
And don't you forget it.

Spike struts out of the office.

EVE  
Later boss.

Eve heads towards the exit.

ANGEL  
Eve. I don't want us to represent them ever again.

Eve shrugs.

EVE  
You're the boss.

Eve leaves.

XANDER  
Nice view.

ANGEL  
Yeah.

XANDER  
Must be some heavy polarization on these things considering you're not a pile of dust.

ANGEL  
I usually keep the blinds shut.

XANDER  
Is that just a habit, or are you afraid of what the outside world might see?

ANGEL  
A little bit of both.

XANDER  
Lovely business you have here. It's a testament to everything that I've tried to leave behind.

ANGEL  
I'm sorry. I know that was hard for you down there.

Xander stands for a beat or two.

XANDER  
Why did she do it?

ANGEL  
Because she was protecting the person she loved the most from the demon who took it all away from her.

XANDER  
At least... At least I got to say goodbye this time.  
(beat)  
Wait! I didn't get to say goodbye! Damn it! Why can't I get these things right!

ANGEL  
She knew.

XANDER  
I hope so.

ANGEL  
So is this it? Are you done with the demon world and all its black magic?

XANDER  
I don't know. Seems I can never get away, no matter where I run to.

Angel picks up the Magic Eight ball.

ANGEL  
Here.  
(tosses ball to Xander)  
Next time you find yourself dealing with a creature of the night, this might be of use.

XANDER  
Plus it makes a handy paperweight.  
(beat)  
Thanks.

ANGEL  
You're welcome.

XANDER  
I never liked you. Don't think I'm going to start.

ANGEL  
Right back at 'cha.  
Xander starts heading to the door.

XANDER  
Oh... and this whole belly of the beast thing? Not an easy row to hoe. Be careful. I'd hate to be dragged back here the next time one of my ex-girlfriends becomes a living embodiment of a demon.

ANGEL  
Well, Cordelia should be coming out of her coma any day now. Sure you don't want me to give you a call?

XANDER  
Do me a big favor. Lose my number.

ANGEL  
Done. With Harmony as my secretary, that should be pretty easy.

XANDER  
Angel. Seriously. Get yourself out of here. It's not good.

ANGEL  
Thanks for the insight.

XANDER  
Funny. Very funny.

Xander exits. Angel turns to his view of the city and shuts the blinds.


End file.
